Can I put food on here?

Sure I can, plus, I am the boss and I am pretty sure only my mom reads my posts. If you are going to be in style, you can't eat crap. You will feel good and have energy and your butt will fit into your skinny jeans a little better when you eat well. I like to cook, so here is a healthy turkey slider recipe my son and I love:
I don't do measurements. Just squish it all together, the more variety, the better. And try to get organic everything, especially poultry and apples!

Low fat (organic) ground turkey
half a package of feta
slightly sauteed carmelized onions, diced
diced roasted red pepper
diced sun-dried tomatoes
diced (really tiny) granny smith apples, peeled
salt, pepper, couple shakes of Worcestershire, throw some oregano in there

Squish it all up and make tiny sliders. Cook them in a pan, or on the bbq, yum!

Find tiny buns at the store (Sara Lee makes small whole grain soft buns my little boy loves) Use some crunchy lettuce if you don't do wheat. I try to eat more veggies than other stuff and this puts some into a juicy little treat.
Serve these with tomatoes, cucumbers and spinach. I put cheddar on my son's but I was happy with the feta incorporated into the burgers for mine. I hate condiments but that's just me. Oh, except bbq sauce, I like that.
I have another really good salad recipe if you want that one too, mom. ; )

Inspired by See by Chloe Fall!

FALL.
I am in LOOOOVE with the See by Chloe Fall collection. I don't know what it is, exactly.
How could a graduate student/ mom/teacher afford those outfits? Hmmm. I could forgo that whole retirement thing. OR I could try to find some less expensive but equally lovely replacements.
Let's do this.
I like how this fall look uses the same boots and leggings for many of the looks, so I will start with the basics.
Leggings: Though not proper pants, necessary for fall layering. Gray is a great, versatile color. DO NOT buy cheap leggings, they will pill, sag at the knees and make you look like a slob.
Danksin makes good ones.
Brown Ankle Boots, comfy dress, cape/sweater and some accessories. Here is an outfit I put together for my own shopping inspiration:

See some of my favorite Chloe looks here:
my favorite looks below:

Inspired by See by Chloe Fall! by Jordan Riddle Swain featuring a cape coat
Where to find the above:

Dorothy Perkins sleeved dress
£20 - dorothyperkins.com

Trouve wrap jacket
$100 - nordstrom.com

H by Henry Holland cape coat
£55 - debenhams.com

Vince Camuto legging
$32 - nordstrom.com

Carvela wedge boots
£39 - kurtgeiger.com

2028 Jewelry antique brass jewelry
$16 - 1928.com

A.J. Morgan club sunglasses
$18 - shopruche.com

An open letter to teenage girls:

An open letter to teenage girls: by Jordan Riddle Swain featuring lace up boots

Dear Teenage Girls of America,

You are lovely creatures, filled with the promise of the future, the figures we older ladies can only dream of having, and some of you have the confidence to show the world what you’ve got.
Well, don’t.
I have a little advice for you, being an older, more experienced woman who can clearly remember once being in your ranks:
Leave. Something. To. The. Imagination.
I don’t think your mothers have been teaching you The Rule when it comes to dressing. Or maybe you aren’t listening, which means you are succeeding at being a teenager. Here it is:
Only show off one asset at a time. Simple! One asset means you can highlight your Ladies, meaning cleavage (in a tasteful way) but not wear a mini at the same time. You can wear a mini and show of those legs but leave the Ladies cloistered. You can show of your ASSet by wearing fitted jeans, but leave the muffins in the oven and wear a looser top. It’s ok to leave something to the imagination, really!

Teenage boys need to learn from the get-go: These are OUR bodies. We love our bodies, we show them when we want to and we mostly dress for our friends, not for boys. Fashion is meant to be fun, not to make boys salivate all over their way too sagged but weirdly tight pants.

Have fun with fashion and don’t dress for some greasy boy who just wants ONE THING anyway, ew. There is plenty of time for getting’ all sexy when you’re having your quarter-life crisis.

Have you ever heard of the burlesque entertainer Gypsy Rose Lee? Check her out on Wikipedia. She was born in Seattle! Anyway, she was known for her witty striptease style and her way of showing off without really showing much off. I like her. I am not encouraging you to go be a stripper, but to take inspiration from some of the most alluring girls of the past. Classy and witty need to make a comeback in fashion, and your generation can choose to adopt this new fashion ideal.
One way to cover up a little is to accessorize. Floral mini dress+ colorful tights +scarf + mismatched cardi = cute and appropriate. Have fun being cute. Mini dress + bare legs + uggs or flip flops = hideous. Easy. We will talk about your footwear choices in the next installment…
Love, xoxo, J

Art Teacher, January.

Art Teacher, January. by Jordan Riddle Swain featuring couture tights

Revisiting the 90's in an updated, more feminine way. Opaque tights and a scarf add a little modesty to the little dress. The boots are only $30, I just got them, so comfy, and waterproof for rainy Seattle days.

Outfit December, Seattle

Outfit December, Seattle by Jordan Riddle Swain featuring metallic shoes

I got these shoes and was not so sure about them, but I got compliments and they were very comfortable so I am trying to come up with new ways to wear them. I think the metallic take on these shoes works to feminize the oxford trend a little bit. I actually have this outfit, but I am already in my pajamas for the night. I love "trying things on" on Polyvore!

Leggings Public Service Announcement:

Backpacks.

Vintage Chanel at BBOS

Backpacks.

Urban Outfitters

I Don't love You Anymore.

I don’t love you anymore.

It’s not you, it’s me.
It’s not that you haven’t been great, you just don’t fit into my life.

Sitting among the strewn wreckage of an excavated closet, I am thinking of ways to rationalize these cruel breakups, yet it’s time to move on and I know it.

Jeans, saggy butt. Out. Sweater, pilling. Out. Top, trendy, circa 2005. Out. Cute things I don’t wear, consignment- which means NEW things!

One of my New Years “resolutions” is to follow my own advice, fashion-wise, so here goes.

This excavation was brought on by some new lovelies. I had to introduce them to The Closet, but it was in chaos. It was no place for a pair of fabulous leopard print pumps. Certainly no place for the knee-high towering platform buckle scrunch boots that my handsome hubby got me for Christmas. No, this closet needs a renovation.

The box of cast-offs grows to 3.5 boxes. How can I live with only 15 sweaters? Oh, wait, is that too many? Now I’m getting into it, anticipating the money in my pocket from the consignment store and relishing the new space.


I love cleaning out my closet, as stressful as it may be. The clean lines, hanging clothes colorized, (a term and skill I learned back in the day working at Nordstrom). Not everyone feels this way. The hardest part is beginning. Preparing yourself to cavalierly toss out things you are used to, um, looking at every day, but never wearing. Things that take up space that could be used for items you love and make you look amazing. There. Ready?
Here are step my step instructions the CSF way:

Get yourself in the correct state of mind first. You must be Ruthless. Listen to old-school “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J for inspiration.

Check you out. Get a big ole’ mirror and be honest. Take everything out of the closet (or drawers). I am not kidding.

You need four bins or boxes:

To Charity
Consignment
Try it on/ think about it
Favorites

Now, start throwing that $%^%$ into those bins! Fast! Don’t even think- just throw things into bins. Start with accessories, then clothes, then shoes. Be mean if you have to (“You suck, white capri pants! You’re so transparent! I hate you!”).

Now that your closet is empty and your bedroom looks like the aftermath of a grenade explosion/ murderous struggle, you can start putting it back. Think about where things make sense- don’t just put things back in the same place. I opted for a different dresser in the closet and moved my shoe rack. Put in your favorites first, and that should be all you need. Put in seasonal items and items you need but rarely use somewhere that you can get to but won’t be in the way. Spacebags are tremendous, I LOVE them. I put seasonal items in these and stack them in boxes with lids.

Now colorize, reorganize again. Take the charity/ consignment boxes to your car and take them TODAY (or tomorrow, but no later). Make a list of needed items.

Take a breath and look at the bliss you have created. How easy will it be to get dressed tomorrow?

Holiday Gift Guide 2009

Here it is: The Gift Guide 2009. These are some of the best and most interesting shopping sites out there. Please add your own favorites in your comments, they will be filed!

For Anyone on your list:

Fishs Eddy

Artsy glassware, dishes, mugs and gifts at low prices. I like the Brooklyn line of dinnerware.

Fred Flare

This site has it ALL, from bacon bandages for $9 to foxy faux fur and talking Japanese watches for $15. You can even find your Edward-crazy niece Bella’s jacket from Twilight.

Retro block Ipod Speaker

Target Red Hot Shop is always fun to browse. Target.com has everything, and has a free shipping deal going on right with a minimum purchase of $50!

For the creative people on your list:

Curiosity Shoppe Online All manner of gorgeousness here. Every item is thoughtfully curated and very cool! I love these lace earrings for $30. Art, office and entertaining items that are to die for.

Lace Earrings from Curiosity Shoppe

I Love Uma

For creative urbanite, this cool site has things you didn’t know you needed! I love this:

Urban Cuckoo Clock

Etsy

Amazing handmade items! This is not your granny’s craft show! Children’s items and jewelry are especially great finds. Easy to search.

Check out this adorable bath towel from SDK Designs:

For the fashionistas:

Newport News

A surprising array of on trend accessories and shoes. Newport News is having a great boot sale right now!

These booties are $44!

Baghaus

A super easy site to shop, (choose by color, size, trend and more) Baghaus constantly has amazing sales. Many faux leather bags are trendy and cheap, but well-made.

Anthropologie

If I had my way, I would outfit my home and person with everything from Anthropologie. Plenty of inspiration and some affordable gift ideas.

Forever21

One of my favorite sites for high fashion at low prices. I love the store, but the site is much more relaxing to shop. Great accessories!

This necklace looks so much more expensive than it actually is at $9!

More ideas for girly girls:

Statement necklaces

Chain handle bag

multi colored scarf and beret

Next up: Holiday Party Dressing. Email your questions, situations and parties, we'll help you get dressed!

Mad Gifting Skillz

Winter holidays are coming fast. In this craptastic economy, holidays are not just about the gifts. Holidays are about appreciating loved ones, and the great things we already have. That said, you still need to get a little something for those loved ones…

I recently read a study that found people are happier with purchases they make themselves compared with gifts they receive from others. People aren’t loving gifts they receive because the giver has no idea what to buy. Time to do some digging, shoppers. Get to know your “giftee” a little better. That is what the holidays are all about anyway, right?

(Stop reading here Linea and Emma, if you don’t want a holiday spoiler)

I just found out my sister loves Lucien Freud and Francis Bacon. I am someone with an art degree, so I am searching for a fabulous art book to inspire her. Another sister is moving into a new apartment, so an adorable wine rack it is (who can live without a wine rack?).

Here are things to think about when shopping for gifts:

No knick knacks or gag gifts. What happens to these things? We laugh, then stick it in a closet. Eventually it goes to charity or a landfill and is accompanied by the guilty feelings of the person getting rid of the gift.

Small and tasteful is better than large and cheap. Ostentatious, enough said. There are amazing and tasteful gifts to be found at Target, TJMaxx and more. Antique and flea markets are also a fun place to find something unique.

I know it is too late for this now, but shop all year. When you see something that jumps out at you, you will have it instead of doing a frantic stressful search the week before the gift is needed.

Think of getting something the giftee might not splurge on themselves; a pair of nice leather gloves, cute jeweled ipod headphones, an antique pitcher or vase…the list goes on.

Purchase clothing for people you know very well, with a gift receipt and clear knowledge of sizing. Jewelry and handbags are also very personal, but sometimes you have to take a chance.

Next up: A gift list, shoppable online!

Common Sense Fashion Tutorial, Class #1:

As I was recently perusing the racks at a high-thinking, low-end fashion mecca (Target), I spotted a fabulously faux-furry boho-inspired vest that called to me from across the industrially carpeted floors.

Shaggy vests are in for fall. A staple in stylist Rachel Zoe’s wardrobe for years, these kinds of trends take awhile to trickle down to the masses. Anyway, enough history. I picked up the vest and held it up to myself in the mirror. Cute?

Ok, my first instinct was, yeah, and cheap! Then I put on my Common Sense Fashion Chapeau, and realized this was a mistake.

An abdominable-snowman, crazy-sherpa, dead wet roadkill looking mistake.

Cheap, yes. Cute, um seriously, this got me thinking:

1. One must try to stay in style… but how to follow trends without succumbing to fashion-victim status while remaining true to oneself (and one’s figure and, I hate to say it, age)?

When I put on my figurative (invisible) chapeau, I am forced to slow down, back AWAY from the furry vest and think.

What does this look like? A dead animal. A fashionable dead animal, but I digress.

Another issue is the amount of clothing one wears vs. the clothing one HAS. People wear 20% of the items in their closets regularly. Wouldn’t it be great to have and organized closet, where you wear 90% of the items regularly? (the rest is formal-wear, your old dominatrix gear, etc..)

For the next few CSF entries, we’ll be working on better buying, organizing and using what we have while examining trends that are worth the money.

Look critically at the item in question, and ask yourself these 5 questions:

Would I wear this is if were not “in fashion”?

Would I still want this if its price were $100 more?

How does this REALLY look on my figure/face/hair? (Be honest)

What are three things in my closet that would go with this item?

Do I love it? (sometimes the last question cancels out the first two, but never the third)

Next up, some inspiration. Come back soon!

The vest above can be found at Urban Outfitters. I will add some examples of CUTE faux fur in the next post.

Chloe Sevigny in a Proenza Schouler leather jumpsuit.

Is this:

a. a crime against an innocent crotch.

b. boob jail, with one trying to escape.

c. hot! I would wear this.

d. all of the above.

Please post your answer in the comments.

Disco pants.

Rawr!
Meet Shermine. She LOVES disco. And these pants. And why not? Who isn't dying to get into a disco diva's pants?
Um, ok, these are unflattering to say the least. What is with the classic mom high waist/ super tight, "1982's mistake" cut? And a cropped top with pumps. They had to go all the way. Well, I guess all the way is the only way to go, Disco Diva.
We here at the Common Sense Fashion Committee get the no sweatshop, made in the USA coolness of American Apparel, but we do not get this. These also come in shorts, and I mean SHORTS.

Found! Coveralls?

Coveralls and jumpsuits are different, seriously. Who doesn't covet the ease and style of your neighborhood mechanic's everyday go to item? We, of the Common Sense Fashion Committee declare these coveralls good. Hear us out... Yes, we know they aren't for everyone. But they are COMFORTABLE and different, which is always good. There is something vaguely art-school cool about these. You can find them for $118 at Free People.

Are Infants and cashmere compatible? The Mother's day issue.

Imagine my surprise upon realizing that my new infant and my favorite cashmere sweater were not compatible. Well, rather, my infant liked the sweater, the latter experiencing its first coating of spit-up and slobber. I had no idea what I was in for. 12 months later, I continue to learn about the tenuous pairing of motherhood and style.

The typical day trying to be a stylish mother:

Get up early for a nice long shower. Child pounds on shower door until you relent and let him in. He knocks down every product in the shower, and you can’t shave lest the razor get anywhere near him, he has those crazy trick arms that look short, but have a six foot span.
Dry hair while dancing to the noise with child while child “rearranges” your beauty products. He mimics your routine, which you know would make his father proud. Find your wayward makeup (in the tub, toilet and garbage) and get it on, quick! Ok, good face this morning, great eye makeup… You pick up little one for a look in the mirror, what a cute pair! Yes, I’m a hot mama! Child goes in for a kiss, and, oh no… it’s a sneeze! You wipe the snot from your eyebrow and decide to get dressed.

Dresses are out if you’re nursing.
Low cut tops are out if your little one has a “security boob” (anything unfamiliar and a little hand shoots down your shirt).
Dry clean only fabrics are out, white is out, anything that snags…
Ok, jeans and a cute top, I can do this. Put on those pre-baby designer jeans. Is there a such thing as a “jean horn”? You know, like a shoe-horn, that people used to use to slide those tight shoes on? I might have an idea here… Did I have a baby in my butt? Why does it look deflated? Oh well. Find a top that is still in style and covers the muffin top…

Feed little one. Now there’s yogurt on your shoulder but that’s ok, it’s fairly transparent.
Play. Little one gives you the sweetest kiss… on the eye. Unbeknownst to you there is a spreading mascara smudge just under your right eye.
Diaper change. Child says no to this. After the war-like struggle, you clean the poop off of your elbow and get on with your day.

You head out, little one in tow, for some shopping before nap. You cannot try anything on because of little one’s dressing room claustrophobia but somehow you find an amazing pair of gladiator heels and an adorable top on sale! Head to line. Little one is DONE. Major freak out happening here. It is nap time, NOW. He is writhing like someone possessed out of his stroller, screaming in outrage, and people are looking at you. You imagine they are thinking: “what a selfish mother, that child looks so tired and she is out shopping…in this economy? How irresponsible, she probably doesn’t even work she should be home cleaning or something that child has no manners I bet his mother just ignores him and shops all day.”

You flee, leaving the stuff on the counter. Gladiator heels, ha. Try catching the kid in those.
Child sleeps in car and when you get home he is AWAKE! Ready for fun!

Fold laundry while child unfolds, licks and throws each item into the laundry room garbage bin.

Change into sweats because we’re not going anywhere else today.

Child naps again. Bills, clean bathrooms, do six sit-ups, start dinner.

Child wakes. Try to plant some flowers in the new pots that have been sitting on the patio for three months. Play in the dirt instead.

Handsome Husband arrives, wearing a nice suit. You great him covered in dirt, yogurt, snot, spit, sweat, hopefully no poop, wearing ratty sweats, smudged mascara, and a frightening little-old-lady bun. You go in for a kiss and he does the duck and weave… and pats you on the shoulder.



So the point of this story is. I understand. I do. Keep trying. Don’t give up, ladies. We can do this hot mama thing.

Update on the JUMPSUIT

I just returned from Oahu, where adorable tiny Japanese girls were rocking the jumpsuit, eighties style. I predict this trend will continue for tiny fashionable girls. Fall brings larger, structured shoulders. Yes, really.

THE Jumpsuit

The editor at Common Sense Fashion has been away for a bit. Pontificating a contradictory new spring trend (while grappling with the flu and a newly defiant one-year-old, but that’s another type of blog). This disturbing, yet oddly comforting trend is THE JUMPSUIT. In the eighties, my glamorous mom had a lovely soft yellow palazzo-panted jumpsuit that I coveted. It had everything; shoulder pads, a flower pin, wide swishy fabric and buttons all the way up. She even let me try it on, but at age 10 the look did not quite work for me. Anyway, I digress because as I have heard some people lamenting the return of the jumpsuit along with all that was ugly in the eighties and nineties, I can’t help but feel a little connection to these items of current fashion. Let’s debate this issue:
1. Jumpsuits are comfortable. Yes, comfortable. I know, not important in fashion, per se, but it’s like wearing your pajamas, and with the ease of one-piece dressing, some people just might be able to pull this off.
2. We can do this with class, if we decide to accept jumpsuits into our fashion vocabulary. See Stella McCartney’s Spring ’09 collection in plain creme. (top photo) I am not a fan of printed jumpsuits. Too much going on. The shortie jumpsuit above in black works of you have a great figure and an auto body shop.  Wear with red stilettos.  
3. No shoulder pads. Obviously.

On the other hand…
1. Jumpsuits are vaguely unappealing on the sexy scale. Something about them reminds us of Sally O’Malley (Molly Shannon) on Saturday Night Live… “I’m Fifty Years Old!”
2. They can be unflattering. See the terrifying jumpsuit made by Stella McCartney below. You win some and you lose some, Stella. The focus seems to be on the extra-long crotch area. Mmmm.
3. They can be very unflattering if the wrong style is chosen. Check out the Proenza Schouler “jumpsuit” above. I dream of delusional genie? Oh well, this one is only about $10,000. Small price to pay for a fashion experiment.  The one next to it is another Stella creation, this time not a good choice.  
Remember, to pull of a ridiculous look, you must have confidence. And a sense of humor. Good luck. I might just give this one a try.

Baby 'Hawks. Always In.

We, of the Common Sense Fashion Committee, hereby issue a proclamation banning the future and present adoration of starlets wearing hippie headbands across the forehead. This trend has come and gone, coming rather uninvited-ly, and serves only to make said starlets looks as though they are suffering a war wound and trying to bling up the bandaging a bit. Let go of the little strings around your foreheads, tiny hipp-lets, and find a new trend! Be free!


Nicole Richie, repeat offender Mischa Barton (please, stop!!! We can revisit her outfit choices another day), model Irina Lazareanu of Sgt. Pepper's ugly headband club, and the lovely as always but just this once misguided Mary Kate.