I Don't love You Anymore.

I don’t love you anymore.

It’s not you, it’s me.
It’s not that you haven’t been great, you just don’t fit into my life.

Sitting among the strewn wreckage of an excavated closet, I am thinking of ways to rationalize these cruel breakups, yet it’s time to move on and I know it.

Jeans, saggy butt. Out. Sweater, pilling. Out. Top, trendy, circa 2005. Out. Cute things I don’t wear, consignment- which means NEW things!

One of my New Years “resolutions” is to follow my own advice, fashion-wise, so here goes.

This excavation was brought on by some new lovelies. I had to introduce them to The Closet, but it was in chaos. It was no place for a pair of fabulous leopard print pumps. Certainly no place for the knee-high towering platform buckle scrunch boots that my handsome hubby got me for Christmas. No, this closet needs a renovation.

The box of cast-offs grows to 3.5 boxes. How can I live with only 15 sweaters? Oh, wait, is that too many? Now I’m getting into it, anticipating the money in my pocket from the consignment store and relishing the new space.


I love cleaning out my closet, as stressful as it may be. The clean lines, hanging clothes colorized, (a term and skill I learned back in the day working at Nordstrom). Not everyone feels this way. The hardest part is beginning. Preparing yourself to cavalierly toss out things you are used to, um, looking at every day, but never wearing. Things that take up space that could be used for items you love and make you look amazing. There. Ready?
Here are step my step instructions the CSF way:

Get yourself in the correct state of mind first. You must be Ruthless. Listen to old-school “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J for inspiration.

Check you out. Get a big ole’ mirror and be honest. Take everything out of the closet (or drawers). I am not kidding.

You need four bins or boxes:

To Charity
Consignment
Try it on/ think about it
Favorites

Now, start throwing that $%^%$ into those bins! Fast! Don’t even think- just throw things into bins. Start with accessories, then clothes, then shoes. Be mean if you have to (“You suck, white capri pants! You’re so transparent! I hate you!”).

Now that your closet is empty and your bedroom looks like the aftermath of a grenade explosion/ murderous struggle, you can start putting it back. Think about where things make sense- don’t just put things back in the same place. I opted for a different dresser in the closet and moved my shoe rack. Put in your favorites first, and that should be all you need. Put in seasonal items and items you need but rarely use somewhere that you can get to but won’t be in the way. Spacebags are tremendous, I LOVE them. I put seasonal items in these and stack them in boxes with lids.

Now colorize, reorganize again. Take the charity/ consignment boxes to your car and take them TODAY (or tomorrow, but no later). Make a list of needed items.

Take a breath and look at the bliss you have created. How easy will it be to get dressed tomorrow?