Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Mom pants!

Open letter to Jessica “Mom Pants” Alba,

Let’s talk about last impressions. This is the impression you leave when you are walking away. This is as vital as the first impression, but often overlooked.

Dear reader, is this the picture you want to leave the world as you walk away?

Yes, we know high-waisted pants are all the rage, but they are not without their victims. Do I need mention the silly bow, equally mom-tastic conservative top, and shoes that look, from the back, a little streetwalker-ish? I am a mom, too and as a star, you, Ms. Alba should try to represent us with a little more common sense. Sexy mom, yes. Weird, saggy butt, hooker shoes mom? No.

On the subject of the derriere, let’s look at the photo below and just take a moment of silence.

The poor girl probably only has Laguna Beach, season one, on DVD for fashion inspiration.
A little booty never hurt anyone, on the beach, in a bikini, but this little booty is too much.

Is it cold, hence the Uggs and flannel? Or warm, as she is wearing a ridiculous mini?

Ok, let’s fix this picture.
1. Chop that raggedy unkempt mess of a mop. Even just a little.
2. Ditch the Uggs.) but they are not appropriate for a beachside stroll. Trade for Chuck Taylors.
3. Trade heinous Lisa Turtle inspired skirt for dark straight-legged jeans. There, better already.

Next, the transitional spring uniform and “Recessionista Chic.”


  1. Oh my, haven't we all worn something we wouldn't want on the web. More than once, we learn, twice, we wince, thrice....we change it up!!

  2. I have learned recently for women as opposed to men it is more important for their hands and feet to be warm than their derrire..perhaps it was a bit chilly out?

  3. Hi, well be sensible, well-all described